Church, I want so much of what you have. The simple act of going to church, hanging out with churchie people; is salvation to me. Was and always is.

I was just having a light afternoon snack (lunch) and finally my mp3 can work—I finally bought the charger yesterday. And all that Hillsong just reminds me too much of NCC and my life in SG. I started tearing.

Soon I ask myself for the umpteenth time, what exactly am I doing here. When getting saved is the answer. When church is my salvation. When fellow Christians are my brothers and sisters. Just. What. Exactly. Am. I. Doing. Here.

My eyes hurt from too much rubbing.

I cried out to Jesus, oh lord. What now? What hope have I left? I have rejected all churches and Christians in this land. My heart and soul is in SG. Can my hope for return last me for 3 whole months? Joseph must have had more stuff to hold on to besides returning. Jacob too, he must be worse because he was kicked out by his own brother. If only someone can touch my soul and lead me to you. I wanted a human manifestation of Jesus.

I had, prior to this, logged on to my special inbox for the Good News a.k.a. the Daily Devotional. On random, I refer to it again. The lord showed me this “Moved By The Spirit, Not Human Honey”. I read on, “Out of the kindness of your heart, you give him money to buy food for himself”, “The Bible refers to human kindness as “honey”.

“The grain offering speaks of Jesus’ life on earth. Not mixing honey in the grain offering…”

“God does not want you to be moved by what you see but by His Spirit. There were many needy folks surrounding Jesus during His time on earth. But He did not heal every sick person, feed every hungry stomach or raise all who were dead. Isaiah 11:2–3 tells us that the Lord was not moved by what He saw or heard. He was moved only by the Spirit.”

“You too have the Spirit in you. (1 Corinthians 3:16) Be moved by Him.”

1 Corinthians 3:16
Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you?

Amen. 🙂

No longer seeking for… a human manifestation of Jesus Christ, because He lives in me. I am his temple. His Spirit lives in me. God is everywhere, His hands big enough even though I have moved to the other side of the planet. Even though I still miss church.

The lord spoke, “Be kind to yourself.” Moved by so much grace, I teared even more. But this time, of happy tears.

In a nutshell, God Loves Me.


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